The pain is so intense that you can actually feel a knife in your heart. You feel like pulling out your hair. You want to stab into something. Many a time to release the pain you cut yourself, end up drinking and drugging yourself, or having sex with awful partners.
One hears of how serial killers feel an overwhelming urge to go and pick a victim to abuse and kill. After the act, they feel the release of the emotional build up in their system. Unfortunately, with this kind of letting off steam one ends up hurting oneself or hurting innocent people namely our close friends and family.
Triggered To The Past
Recently, I had to deal with an associate for 4 whole days, since I was the one in need of her help, After some time her attitude began alternating between domination and superiority, to being coolly indifferent and subtly rejecting.
At this, my still raw amygdala got reactivated and I literally began feeling ill with the stress. When one is a survivor of childhood, one tends to perceive threat everywhere. and I was back to feeling the stress of my childhood days. Feelings of anger, rage and irritation bubbled within me but was unable to express just to keep the peace and get on with the job at hand.
Finally, when I was able to leave her toxic presence, I felt a huge relief and thought I would be fine once out of sight. But the thoughts had got stuck in the still tender wounds of my toxic childhood.
Ruminating Thoughts
The tune continued playing, and the stress continued to build up. The first thing I did was call my son whose first reaction was, “Can’t you wait to talk until you return” and I petulantly said that I had to get my throat chakra open. If I block it, all my chakras would get blocked and we both laughed, which did release a lot of tension.
Sound To My Rescue
Immediately as I began my bus journey back I got out my headphones and began listening to Steven Halpern’s Music for Sound Healing.
By the second song, I could feel a subtle shift in my thought process from anger and irritation to thinking about my blog and how to improve on it. By the time the last song began playing, I no longer felt overpowered by negative thought energies. I began feeling my vitality returning. I began feeling actual hunger.
That is the power of sound. It has the power to change thoughts and ease stress and anxiety. It is the quickest, easiest and effortless way to soothe the overactive amygdala and it is without any harmful side-effects.
A Cherokee version of Amazing Grace, which is healing and soothing
Amazing grace, How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now I am found,
Was blind, but now I see.
‘Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears relieved.
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed.
Through many dangers, toils, and snares
I have already come,
‘Tis grace has brought me safe thus far
And grace will lead me home.
